Sitting alone in the dimly lit bar, Rea waited at a small table for two. A single candle encased in a clear glass sconce, it’s flickering flame casting a subtle light, reflecting in the white wine that she swirled in her glass. Tonight was the night, the end of what could of been, what should have been, an epic romance, to end all romances. Yet here she was, waiting for the love of her life to meet her here, the place where they first fell in love, the place that will now be remembered as the keeper of her shattered heart.
Lost in her thoughts, she jumped at the warm hand on her skoulder. Leaning down Paul gave her a brief kiss on the cheek and sat down across from her. Lifting a single finger, he signaled the waiter and ordered himself a scotch, neat and Rea a Pino Grigio.
“You look lovely Rea” reaching for his drink he took a healthy sip, and swallowed. Sipping her fresh glass of wine, she inclined her head and murmured ” Thank you”
Looking across the table at each other, the candlelight obscuring the unspoken truth that lay hidden in their eyes, the silence between them, deafening. Needing to say what she came here to say, Rea cleared her throat and began to speak.
“I love you Paul. I think I always have, and I know I always will. But I can’t live like this anymore. I just can’t be what you want you me to be.”
“What are you talking about Rea? I haven’t asked you to change anything about who or what you are? Where is this coming from?”
“You really don’t know, do you? Feeling a tear slip down her cheek, she took a moment to wipe it off before she continued. “I’ve done my best to be who you have wanted me to be. Wearing the clothes YOU want me to be seen in, perfect hair and make-up at all times, standing quietly by your side, the perfect little trophy. But when I would dress in what I liked, or decided on no make-up, or had a different opinion than yours, I was treated with distain and made to feel less than I was.”
“Hmm… This is news to me” Picking up his scotch he finished it in one swallow and ordered another.
“No Paul, it’s not. I tried to tell you many times, but you just ignored my feelings because it wasn’t what you wanted to hear. You wanted me to fit into your perfect little square box, so you could love me. And I tried to fit, but you can’t keep pushing a round peg into a square hole.”
“So.. What are you telling me?” He asked
Taking one last sip of her wine, she put the glass down, pushed her chair away from the table and stood up. “I am saying goodbye Paul. I need to live MY life, MY way.. I need to be me” Taking some money out of her wallet, she dropped it on the table. “Drinks are on me”. Walking around to his side of the table Rea placed a warm kiss on Pauls forehead, then walked away without a backwards glance.
“Huh” he said “I never would of thought that would fit in there”
The little boy with the big blue eyes and the white blonde hair, just stood there looking up at the giant of a man. “Sir” the little boy said ” I may be small in size, but my heart is big, and I believe there’s nothing you can not do as long as you have the desire and the will to do it”
“Well young man, what you did here was just short of miraculous.” Replied the big man. Looking at what lay before him, he just shook his head and allowing a smile to stretch across his face. Reaching out his large hand he patted the little boys head, smoothing down his silky white blonde hair. Looking down at the child, the man asked “Are you even human?. The child just looked up and smiled. And just for a second, the big big man could have sworn he saw an actual twinkle in those big blue eyes.
Stepping out onto the crowded street, I am immediately aware of the energy around me. The Jangled rhythms of so many people walking by, going about their day, unaware of the static that is being caused by their various thoughts and actions.
I feel… everything.
The crying baby, just wanting to be held and loved.
The arguing couple, who just wants to get their point across and be understood.
The impatient man who is late for his meeting and wishing the masses would just get out of his way.
The homeless veteran who squats in a doorway, wondering how this could have possibly have happened to him. He fought for this country, and look at him now!
The young same sex couple, wanting to walk down the street hand and hand, so in love, but afraid of strangers reactions, so they settle for just walking side by side.
So many emotions, so much energy. And I feel…everything.
I take myself to a place of renewal, a clearing in the middle of the woods. Sitting on the forest floor, feeling the steady beat of Mother Earth, allowing my heart to match her rhythm until we become one.
I feel… Everything
Standing on a sandy shore, wind from the ocean buffeting my still form. Feeling the pull of the waves as they draw me in and take me out, only to push me back onto the shore.. Push and pull, back and forth, in and out.
I Feel … Everything
Night time falls, and the moon is riding high in the sky. A sence of peace fills my body as I close my eyes to sleep. The rhythm of the dark lulls me into a calming silence.
And for now.. I Feel.. Peace
Kate Beckett and Richard Castle tiredly entered their apartment and together dropped down onto the couch. Finally,after many years, the capture of one of the biggest drug pins, LokSat. Today. Both of them almost died, but fate had something better in store for them, a life.
Deciding to throw a party the next day to celebrate everyone’s hard work, Kate and Rick waiting for their guests. First to arrive was Martha, Alexis and Haley. Shortly after , Kevin arrived, then last but not least Javier and Lanie. Making sure everyone had a drink, Rick called for everyone’s attention.
“Thank you all for being here. Now I will hand this over to my lovely wife”
Kate smiled and gave Rick a quick kiss. ” thank you love” Turning her attention to her family and co- workers, she began. ” I can not begin to tell you how grateful and proud I am of each and everyone of you. Without your help and your excellent work, we wouldn’t be standing here today. As a team we were able to take out on of the biggest drug pins in our area, and I thank you with all my heart” Raising her glass ” Cheers”
“Cheers” they all responded as they raised their glasses in unison. “While we have our glasses raised, I would like to make a toast” turning to Lanie, Javier took her and as he looked into her eyes, he said ” Lanie and I got married today” Leaning down he kissed his smiling bride as they all clapped and cheered. After the congratulations were finished, Kate called for attention. Looking at Rick she said “Castle, I can’t think of a better time to tell you this. I’m having a baby, our baby” Filled with overwhelming joy, Rick grabbed his wife and held her tightly. “Seriously Beckett?” Nodding her head up and down, he picked her up and swung her in a circle.
Life was indeed good
Tracy and Lynn were the best of friends. They met in college, both majoring in Art. Tracy became an art teacher at a local high school, Lynn an Art Historian and a publisher of several books. Because of their busy schedules, it was hard for them to get together. So once a month they set up a Friend Date, each taking turns as to the where and when. This month was their favorite art museum to play their favorite game, they called it ” Explain that Painting”
The object of their game was to decide on a painting and make up a story about the People inside the painting. This month was Tracy’s turn, and she chose Christina’s World by Andrew Wyeth.
“Ok Trae” Lynn said ” Let’s hear it”
” Christine fell in love with a man she could never have. He came from a family considered high class, and she was considered poor. They had a secret love affair, but eventually they were found out, and due to family pressure, he had to end it. They were heart broken, but just couldn’t stay away from each other. They arranged to meet at his families summer home. She set out on foot because there was no other, and she walked for hours. The day was so very hot and she had no water, but it didn’t matter because she’d be with her love again. Unfortunately, due to lack of hydration and exhaustion, she collapsed just short of reaching her goal. Trying to call out her loves name only weakened her more, and she lay on the field and died.”
“Wow” replied Lynn. ” I would have gone with abusive husband, running away, finding a house in the middle of no where, not making it”
“Hmmm.. That could work too. I’m hungry. Our favorite Chinese?”
The human psyche has always fascinated me. I love to watch the way people’s minds work, especially when they are trying to hide things from you. The lengths they will go to to bury the truth, in the hopes that you will never see it. It’s one thing to watch someone who’s not very close to you spin their tales and expect you to trust what they are showing you. Fools.. But it quite another to experience the twists and turns, the hide and seek, the induendos and outright lies of those close to you.
The simple truth of the matter is this..Don’t underestimate me. I know more than I say, think more than I speak, and notice more than you realize.
If you choose to try and deceive me, I’ll be happy to hand you your rope. Do as you will, for I won’t stop you. Just know this… I know what you’re doing, I’ve always known….
Having wandered around the newly opened department store for the last hour, I really needed to go to the bathroom. So heading back to where I saw it, I found what I was looked for and went in. Selecting the first stall I came to, I shut the door and locked it. As I was finishing up I heard some raised voices, and they sounded as if they were getting louder, so I quickly zipped up and went to go wash my hands.
As I headed towards the sink I saw a young woman with very short hair, looking very upset. Standing in front of her was an older women, spewing all sort of nasty, inflamitory remarks. I listened for a moment to make sure I was hearing correctly, and to my horror, I was. Never in my life had I heard such mean spirited, predjudice garbage, and I could feel my own temper rising. I’d had enough.
So stepping up to the hate spewing older woman, I calmly said ” Excuse me ma’am, but is there a reason you feel it necessary to speak to this young lady in that manner?”
Turning to me with rage and indignation Written all over her face, she snarled back ” Do you know what this.. this creature is?!! Before I had a chance to reply she continued ” she’s one of those Transgendered things!” The woman nearly spit as she spoke, so filled with hate and anger.
As I looked over at the young lady in question, I could see the pain and confusion in her eyes and my heart broke for her. With tears starting to flow she softly said “I’m not transgendered, I just donated my hair to be made for wigs for cancer patients. This woman came out of no where and started screaming at me..”
Turning back to the now quiet older woman, my first instincts was to rip her up one side and then down the other. But instead I took a more compassionate route.
” Ma’am” I said ” you owe this young lady an apology. Actually, you owe a whole group of people an apology. This young lady may not be transgendered, but what if she was? You have NO right to treat her or anyone else in such a hateful manner. This is not the sixties, and this type of predjudice, or any kind for that matter is totally unexceptable. We are all Put on this earth together, and we are all made equal in the eyes of our higher power.And just because a person feels differently on the inside than they may be on the outside, and they choose to live the truth of who they are inside, doesn’t make them rapist or pedaphiles. And for you to stand there and speak to this young lady, whom you’ve incorrectly identified as trandgendered is way beyond disgraceful.”
At this point, the older woman was spitting and sputtering, trying to justify her hatred. But I wasn’t through with her yet. “It’s behavior like yours that is turning who uses which bathroom into a unholy war. Look around you! Did you notice this bathroom is filled with stalls that have doors that lock? If you’re that paranoid about who’s in a public bathroom with you, I suggest you either wait until you get home or wear a diaper.”
The older woman’s face turned a brilliant shade of red, and all she could manage to say was ” why.. I never.. ” and then she turned on her heels and stomped out of the bathroom. Turning to the young woman I inquired “Are you ok?”
Nodding her head, she reached out and I took her in my arms for a warm, comforting hug. “Thank you” she whispered. “You’re welcome hon. I’m so sorry you had to go through that” Stepping back, she dried her eyes and left the bathroom. Wanting to make one last statement, I happened to notice the older woman left her lipstick. So picking it up, I opened it, and in big, bold letters I wrote on the mirror THIS IS A JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE!
And with that I washed my hands and walked away..